The Brain Triangle
by KittyAngel StarFig
Summary: What if the HP characters switched brains but not bodies?? A sad attempt at humor, I think, but I wrote this as my FIRST FIC way back when in November, but I took it off quickly cause i thought it was stupid. But funny. So now its back!! Ya better R/R
1. Part 1!

the brain triangle

A/N: This is a fic by StarFig.At first I wasn't going to post this but KittyAngel convinced me 

to.Part two later : If I get Reveiws (if I don't I will fall over and die L)

The Brain Triangle

Part 1

Setting:A hall in Hogwarts at night, Harry, Hermoine, and Ron are under the invisibility cloak

Harry: Psst, do you hear something?

Hermoine: No! What is it?

Harry: Well it sounds like a --

(A HUGE WING SLIPS AROUND A DOOR AND SNATCHES RON AND HERMIONE)

The wing: MWAHAHAHA! REVENGE IS MINE!!!!

Harry:AAH! What was that? (He notices that his friends are gone) OOOH NOOOOO!They've been kidnapped!I must save them!

Scene 2:

A mad scientists lab

Ron: LET US GO, YOU, THING!

Herm: YEAH! OR ELSE I'LL PUT A SPELL ON YOU!

The Thing: MWAHAHA! I can now test my invention! (Pulls a black cloak from his head, and GASP!!)

Herm: it's , it's, Buckbeak!

Ron: WHAT THE –

Herm:BUCKBEAK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT"S WRONG WITH YOU??

Buckbeak:Oh, It's very simple, I'm getting revenge on Hagrid for almost letting those morons behead me... so now I shall torture his Friends!! MWAHAHAHA!!

Ron: Will you stop with the stupid laugh already!

Herm:H-how are you going to torture us?

Buckbeak:WITH THE BRAIN SUCKER! (dun dun dun! Ron is forced into a Plexiglas cage, and buck beak flips a switch….)

Herm: NOOOOO!

Ron: NOOOOO!

Bucky:YESSSSSSS! 

KABOOM!

Herm: Ron are you ok?

Ron: Bakock?

Herm: AHH! BUCKY WHAT DID YOU DO TO RON!?!?

Bucky:I transplanted his brain for a chicken's!

Herm: (gasping) but.. what will you do with the chicken??

Bucky: Give it your brain of course!! MWA HAAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

Herm: (Being forced into a Plexiglas cage) NOOOO!

Bucky: YESSSSS!

Ron: Bacock? (the switch is flipped)

KABOOM!!!

Bucky: IT WORKED!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Chicken: Buckbeak! YOU MADE ME A CHICKEN!!! HOW COULD YOU?? 

Ron: Bacock?

Bucky: Now my minions, to complete the brain transplant circle… (Gives Ron's brain to Herm's head) MWAHAHAHA!!!

Herm-who-now-has-Ron's-brain: STOP WITH THE STUPID LAUGH!

Ron-with-the-chicken-brain: Bacock?

The chicken-with-Herms-brain: This is an outrage! Worse than cruelty to house elves, even! Me, Hermione, with a chicken body!

(Just then, Harry Bursts in, and to his delight finds Herm and Ron in one piece, but little does he know…)

2 be continued…


	2. Part 2!!

The Brain Triangle: Part Two

A/N: StarFig wrote this Fic, I suggest you read part one first if you haven't already… This one's pretty strange, like the first one… PS When I refer to who is talking, I am talking about who's body is talking… not who's brain (Except Harry.. well you get the picture) Enjoy& PLEEEZE R/R

The Brain Triangle: Part Two!!

What happened in Part one: Herm and Ron are kidnapped by Buckbeak, who was out for revenge and transplants their brains!! So now Herm's brain belongs to a chicken, Ron got the chicken brain, and Herm has Ron's brain.Harry just burst in, but little did he know…

Harry: Herm! Ron! You are Alive!!! But – who kidnapped you?

The Chicken who has Herm's brain: Buckbeak did!! So Watch out, Harry. You're walking into a trap!

Harry: Uh, Chicken? Why do you sound like Herm? (Turns to Herm's body with Ron's brain)

Herm with Ron's brain: I'm not herm! Herm's over there! (Points to the chicken)

Harry: Herm! This is no time to insult herm… Uh wait a minute. (Turns to Ron w/ chicken brain)What's happened, Ron?

Ron: Ba Cock??

Harry: Yes, I know buckbeak kidnapped you! Now help me get outta here!!!

Chicken: Geez, Harry, how stupid can you get? Don't you see that-

Harry: Okay, now I'm being insulted by a chicken!I always knew this scar would have side affects, but this is going too far!

Herm: Harry, I hate to say this, but the chicken – I mean Herm- is right.You are acting pretty stupid!

Harry: Herm! You of all people insulting your friend! And stop talking in that stupid voice-It sounds like Ron. By the way, Ron, You haven't said much, what's with you?

Ron: BACOCK!!! (Begins to peck Harry's shoelaces)

Harry: RON! STOP IT! MAYBE I DON'T KNOW CUSTOMS IN THE WIZARDING WORLD YET BUT STOP PECKING MY SHOE!!!!

Chicken: Harry.Sit down.Take deep breaths In and out… In and Out…

Harry: ARG! You were right, this is a trap! You aren't a chicken-or Herm-or whatever you are at all! You must be… Uh OH!

Herm: What, Harry? What's wrong? Herm's right, take deep breaths. You are hyperventilating! You-

Harry: YOU GUYS ARE VOLDEMORT!!! ONLY HE COULD THINK THIS UP WITH THE SICK MIND OF HIS… AHHHHH!!!!!! (Grabs an Ax and comes after the chicken with Herm's brain)

Chicken: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Herm:(Grabs the ax) NO! If you kill the chicken, Herm will never get put back together, and then I won't get my body back, and the chicken, I don't want my body to have a chicken brain! You'll destroy the Brain triangle if you destroy the chicken…

Harry: Oh, I get it!Sorry Herm, uh Ron, no wait…

Chicken: Just call us by our bodies until we get put back to normal…

Herm: WOW! Harry, you are SOOOO lucky- you get to call herm a chicken! DUDE!

Chicken: Shut up.

JUST THEN, BUCKBEAK BURST IN AND GRABS HARRY FROM BEHIND 

Buckbeak: So, we have a visitor, do we now?Oh! It's Harry! The one who saved me! How sweet! But, he's a friend of Hagrid's, too; so, let's see if we can make a brain square!

Herm, the Chicken and Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Just then, Gilderoy Lockhart bursts in 

Herm: Oh Great…

Harry: You Again?

Chicken: Oh, HI GILDEROY!!! I'm so sorry you quit Hogwarts!!

Lockhart: Oh, Great, a chicken is swooning over me.I know just the thing (Raises his wand)

TO BE CONTINUED………………

A/N: Have I confused you yet?? I'm confused writing this! Look for part 3 soon, but meanwhile, R/R!

_ _


	3. FINALE! Pt. 3!!!

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get Part three done… I got caught up with a different series… (Read it, By the way, it's called

A/N:Sorry it took so long to get Part three done… I got caught up with a different series… (Read it, By the way, it's called The REAL Dark Lord series.)I'll stop advertising my other fics, so anyway, enjoy!Please R/R!

Lockhart: I know just the spell… (Raises his wand)_Andesado Bundoria!_

Harry:Lockhart! No! What did you do?

Lockhart:Oh, it's a simple brain-removing spell, I assure you, the chicken will swoon no more!

Herm (w/ Ron's brain):WHAT???? YOU TOOK OUT HERM"S BRAIN? HOW WILL I GET MY BODY BACK???

Lockhart:Oh dear, Ms. Granger… are you all right?

Harry:Shut up Lockhart, and let me think! 

Buckbeak: Did you say think?Nobody but ME should be thinking around here…

Herm:Oh, Great—

Lockhart:Why Hello, bird, thing!Would you be interested in one of my books?Being a scientist like yourself, I think you would be interested in…

Harry, Herm, and Buckbeak:SHUT UP, LOCKHART!!!

Ron with the chicken brain: BA-COCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lockhart:Well, aren't we rude now!Ronald, please, this is no time to be making barnyard sounds…

Buckbeak:Now then—(sees Herm's brain lying by a dead chicken) WHO BROKE MY TRIANGLE???Well, then, let's dispose of the chicken, and I can take that brain… now who should I give it to?Lockhart?Harry?Hmmm… Decisions, Decisions…. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry:Now what are you laughing about?

Bucky:Oh, nothing… I'll be right back… (Exits, smiling slyly)

Harry:Now's our chance!Herm- Er, Ron.. How did this machine work?(Beckons to the brain sucker)

Herm with Ron's brain: MWAHAHAHAHA! Go inside little Harry, and I shall show you…

Harry: Uh, Okay… (Steps in one Plexiglas cage)

Herm: (Steps in the other cage and pushes the start button) MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

KABOOM!

Herm (who now has Harry's brain):AAAAAAAAAAH!Ron! What did you do?? I'm A GIRL!!! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!! TURN ME BACK!!

Harry (who now has Ron's brain):MWAHAHAHAHA!!! NEVER!Now that I have YOUR body, I can be FAMOUS!!! And, now I can have ALLL YOUR MONEY!!!!!!

Herm: RON!I mean, HARRY! No wait, I'm Harry… No, I'm herm... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!Okay.Ron's brain and my old body… HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry (Who now has Ron's brain):Never! (Runs away, laughing)

Lockhart:Well, look on the bright side, now you're at the top of your classes…

Harry: BUT I'm A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Shoves Lockhart into the machine and hits start)

Lockhart (Who now has Harry's brain):There, at least I'm not a girl.

Herm (w/ Lockhart's brain): WHAT! HARRY! Uh, Lockhart? No, I'm Lockhart… No, I'm Herm… ARGH!!! I GIVE UP!!! (Runs away, screaming)

Lockhart w/ Harry's brain: Well, at least HE is the Girl… and I can plan my escape by myself.Now, If only I had a faithful steed…

(From a closet): Harry!Are you there??

Lockhart w/ Harry's brain:What? Who's there?It sounds like Sirius… Is that you Sirius? (Opens closet door)A GOAT????? WHAT"S A GOAT DOING HERE???

Goat: Harry, It's not ANY old Goat... It's a goat with Sirius Black's brain… You are Harry… Right?

Lockhart (With Harry's brain):Yeah I just got a new body and have no way to get my old one back—

Goat: Well, at least you are a HUMAN… I can't get my body back either… Bucky threw it in the dumpster, and the trash truck took it away…

Lockhart:Well, we might as well get out of here… too bad Herm's brain has no body…

Goat: Too bad.Let's go... (And they ride away into the sunset…)

A/N:That's the end… It is a bit strange and Morbid, so if you didn't like it… Here's another Happy Pappy ending:

Right after Ron's brain Gets Harry's body, Dumbledore bursts in and switches all of their brains back and since the chicken body was gone, gave Bucky the chicken brain, and threw out Bucky's brain.The end. 

Isn't that nice?I have a feeling that some of you may like the first ending better now. (I TOLD you this story was weird… What'd you expect?)Anyway, unlike this one, my other stories are NOT stupid, and Have decent endings… So please read & Review, anyway.: ) 


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